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it's a sound salvation

2005-11-14T01:56:00.000-06:00

Hmm... Much like last time, I sell out midway through this set.

Warhammer 48K - Haunted Abortion
Isis - (I don't even fucking know)
Ruins - (again, I don't even fucking know)
Lightning Bolt - On Fire
The Flying Luttenbachers - Kkringgg Beyond NGNGNGGGGGGGG
Orthrelm - Olden Days
Hella - The Mother Could Be You
The Fiery Furnaces - Norwegian Wood
Animal Collective - Grass
Neil Young - The Painter
Carmen Rizzo - Overlooked Happiness
Flying Saucer Attack - For Silence
Saxon Shore - The Shaping of a Helpless Joy
Broadcast - Goodbye Girls
Metric - Handshakes
The Deadly Snakes - So Young & So Cruel
The Lovely Feathers - Cadillac
The Soft Boys - Kingdom of Love
The Buzzcocks - Ever Fallen in Love

Spiced Ham

2005-11-12T12:05:00.000-06:00

For the first time in my life, my email account failed to filter spam from my inbox. I got this little gem from someone coming from saidsadly.net. Is it about getting abs?

"Faith is the vision of the heart it sees God in the dark as well as in the day.
The more defects a man has, the older he is, the less lovable, the more resounding his success."

Sigh. I feel better.

Format, more like Fivemat

2005-11-07T01:47:00.000-06:00

This is the playlist for my last KCOU show. Unfortunate for anyone wanting that "indie rock" Malarkey, I had been listening to "The '80s" on XFM radio at work. And were they playing various incarnations of What-Interpol-Wish-They-Were? No, they were playing extravagant rock songs, like "The Final Countdown." Somehow, this translated to metal for me.

Black Sabbath - Electric Funeral
Slayer - South of Heaven
The Datsuns - MF From Hell
The Misfits - Hatebreeder
The Souls - The Souls
The New York Dolls - Personality Crisis
The Scorpions - He's a Woman, She's a Man
The Sisters - Kick Your Boots Off
Judas Priest - Breaking the Law
Badfinger - I Can't Take It
Kiss - Love Gun
Cheap Trick - Hard to Tell
Twisted Sister - What You Don't Know (Can Hurt You)
Sepultera - One Man Army
Monster Magnet - Pill Shovel
Wargasm - Wasteland

and then... *sigh*
Animal Collective - Banshee Beat
CocoRosie - Armageddon
The Double - Up All Night
Gang Gang Dance - North Sixth
Jandek - What Things Are
Devendra Banhart - Santa Maria De Feira
Leo Kottke - Balloon
The Incredible String Band - The First Girl I Loved
Nico - I'll Keep It with Mine
The Velvet Underground - European Son

I hate technology

2005-11-05T19:38:00.000-06:00

There was a day in my life I learned my computer would tell me a new word every day. Then, one day (today), it stopped. I'm going to break my fist through Dictionary.com's face.

religion

2005-11-01T13:15:00.000-06:00

For the first time in my life I clicked on that random article thing Wikipedia has. It was a mixture of boredom and the possibility of a fated article coming up that prompted me to do so.

And, in the millions of articles contained in the database, this is the one that came up.

Yeah, that's right. Hermann, Missouri.

I think this means something because I have an intense desire to drink beer right now. God is telling me, "Yes, Jay, do that." Because:
1. Hermann has a brewery and
2. Wikipedia's randomizer is controlled by god.

Don't believe me? Try it yourself. If it's not an article that's extremely prescient, you are probably just not a believer. Dumbass.

Bio-Force Guns are everything I imagined they'd be

2005-10-23T22:36:00.000-05:00

Here's an activity:

Don a bandit mask and all-black clothing because you are about to become a master ninja. You will blend with the night as you go door-to-door down your block. Not even kittens will hear you slink in the front door. You will go to the couch and gather every bit of change you can find. I'm sure you'll find at least 10 cents per couch. If you live in a house that's a wreck, like mine, you might find $12, a rare; valuable Magic the Gathering trading card; a razorblade infected with ebola or even patriotically. But somehow, I'll guess you'll average 53 cents at each house. At that rate, in about 15 houses, you'll have enough to buy a movie ticket.

But Lo?!?! You'll say, What value holds that theatre Yonder?

Well, my friend, let me tell you what movie is worth 15 possible burglary charges. Doom. That's right, Doom. Perhaps you remember that litte (*cough* revolutionary) first-person shooter. Yeah, it's that.

MY!?!?! You'll say, Who could carry the epic weight of that good-versus-evil video game?

No worries, my friend, One Mr. The Rock, can carry the load on his eyebrows alone. It wouldn't fucking matter, though.

Why?! You'll say.

Well that's because there are tons of corpses killing people, tons of people killing corpses, fires, explosions, titanic weaponry, and The Rock's first succesful delivery of at least one catchy one-liner...

Oh yeah...

And a little thing called a FIRST-PERSON KILLING OF A SLUG-THING WITH A CHAINSAW!!!

Wing-ding diddly doo! I want a sequel!

This is amazing

2005-10-19T02:36:00.000-05:00

I'm listening to this podcast, and the host says:

"I like Deerhoof. And I've said that already and I'm going to say it again: I like Deerhoof, and you should like Deerhoof, too. Let me say this: If you don't like Deerhoof, let's get in a knife fight, you and me. We'll have a knife fight, the two of us. It'll be a nice, friendly knife fight and the first one to die wins. And if you die, then everyone has to like Deerhoof. And if I die, then, well, I guess everybody doesn't have to like Deerhoof. I don't mean to sound like a Nazi about it, but fuckin' like it. If not, let's have a knife fight."

I think this pretty much sums up my feelings on Deerhoof. Helpfully, he played "L'Amour Stories," which is one of the bands greatest songs. Also great is this song, which made me fall in love with Deerhoof. And in case anybody was wondering, the DJ's training.

"I'm gonna start doing pushups so I can thrust my knife faster than anybody alive. I'm ready. I'm going to be ready for a knife fight... and if you don't like Deerhoof, that's what I'm going to do."

Sunnhoof)))

2005-10-19T01:38:00.000-05:00

Human pregnancies last nine months. That's about how long it had been since I had seen Warhammer. Sadly, I'm yet to be a father.

I think Warhammer was trying to tell me it was my daddy, though. Sometime during the last nine months, they've toured, recorded an album and become dangerously good. Live, the songs are more interesting structurally, tumbling between breakneck thrash, sounds of black holes, dripping metal and (even) tinny noodling. Kind of like if Deerhoof were made out of Sunn0))).

Unfortunately, I've never heard Warhammer translate well into a recording. I await the release of their vinyl to see if they've remedied that.

Live, they scare me. Everybody seems to be battling their instrument, and it's real warfare: punching, strangling, screaming. Yet it's so chaotic, it's brilliant. It's not possible to play such shambolic songs without being tight as hell. The band switches between concerted destruction and personal skirmishes. Instruments drop in and out of the fray, oscillating from churning juggernauts to sparkling explosions, creating shotgun blast frenzies, metronomic convulsions and gravitational meditations.

If you're wondering whether I know what any of these phrases mean, I don't. It's a testament to a city able to produce something other than high school hardcore bands, Pitchfork lookalikes and classic rock cover bands. Please don't break up like every other Columbia band ever.

I'm so productive

2005-10-18T13:18:00.000-05:00

So I have a new laptop, which makes me happy. Thing is, instead of being something lending me great productivity, it's something that lends me unparalleled productivity. Case in point: I'm updating my blog for the first time in a month while "learning" about journalism. How's that for multitasking!

Unfortunately, while writing this, I have nothing contemporaneously important. I did read au$10's posting about Steven Seagal's Lightning Bolt energy drink. I feel my life is a lie right now because I don't have any. I also feel like my life is a lie because one of the girls I work with claimed Pat Robertson has his own energy drink. This isn't true, so my one day goal to begin collecting energy drinks went down the toilet.

If, however, somebody thinks it's a good idea to spend $75 to have Amazon ship me a 24-pack of Lightning Bolt energy drink, then that person is better than a new tank.

Harpo's!!!!!!!!!!!1111111

2005-09-16T02:12:00.000-05:00

When you walk up to Harpo's, the door will burst open and a guy getting PUNCHED in the face will fall to the ground, MASHING the TEETH from his SKULL.

In a scrapping frenzy the bouncer (who got BEAT DOWN) pulls one of them inside. Using profoundly creative language, those outside taunted the PUSSIES and FAGGOTS in the bar. Some dudes MOM comes out and tries to talk the hooligans out of a fight, but they SCREAM in her FACE.

With a final attempt at being rough, short-angry-guy tears off his shirt and makes GORILLA noises while flying at the bouncer. Threats of police moves the drama to the corner, where the crowds atop the bar JEER them without salvation. short-angry-guy makes more NEOLITHIC sounds and raises his fists in fury.

Then I go inside.

Everything is a spring-loaded Polo FacePunch Dispenser. Minefields.

Heck yes, I did.

2005-08-29T02:00:00.000-05:00

Betcha wish you heard my KCOU show. Next time (Monday morning 12 a.m. to 2 a.m.)
Deerhoof - This Magnificent Bird Will Rise
Deerhoof - Come See the Duck (A)
Devo - It's Not Right (R)
Mahjongg - The Rabbit
The Mae Shi - Heartbeeps (A)

The Birthday Party - Mutiny in Heaven
Arab on Radar - My Mind is a Muffler

Sparks - Sextown USA
The Cars - I'm Not the One
Squeeze - If I Didn't Love You
The dB's - Amplifier
Out Hud - It's for You (A)
!!! - Intensify
LCD Soundsystem - Losing My Edge
Miles Davis - Rated X
Four Tet - A Joy (A)
M83 - Teen Angst

Caribou - Boreal Forest Opper
Black Dice - Cone Toaster

Oneida - All Arounder
Comets on Fire - The Bee and the Cracking Egg
Liars - Rose and Licorice (Oneida cover)
Clinic - D.T.
No Doctors - Sharkskin Blues

PS

2005-08-23T14:46:00.000-05:00

Send things like this to all your friends.

WavSite.com

Can irony save me?

2005-08-23T14:31:00.000-05:00

Can I get a "fuck you" from all my j-school homeboysandgirls?

The History of American Journalism has moved me to write. Never before have I attended such and inane class. We spent the first half of the class defining history, american and journalism. I don't know what we spent the second half of the class doing because I quit paying attention.

The question is, though, can this class be so bad it's funny? After we moved from defining journalism (a pointless, but somewhat understandable process) to defining "American," I chuckled. The defintion was not fuck yeah. But can humor come from this incredible lameness. It works in other situations. After all, what's not awesome about Judge Dredd. I think I might be able to apply this to class.

It's quite logical:

Judge Dredd is supposed to be a good movie - It's terribl(y awesome).

History of American Journalism is supposed to be a good class (well... it is required) - It's terribl(y awesome?).

This is some sort of sociology experiment. I'll probably forget about it in a couple days.

!!!Judge Dredd!!!

2005-08-22T01:57:00.000-05:00

Since my other blog had a name too specific, I shall start this one, where I will detail the correct answers for many things about living.

That and I went to my first Columbia show in FOREVER. Thwarted by both dwarves and ogres, it had to take some time and effort. I need an outlet to rant.

Tonight's lesson is how awesome were the miami dragons last night.

The answer is real awesome. Having never seen them before (and now being unable to ever see them again), the show was both exciting and depressing. All I knew about the band is someone once told me it would be a dancey Chrome. Based on my (very) limited knowledge of Chrome I decided this would make MD a Dance Disaster Movement-esque no-wave thingy... whatever the fuck that means (god I love music terms). And although DDM can bring a fist freaking booty-twitcher some days (read: Saturday... not Saturday), the prospect of a full show was less than thrilling. Good news, Miami Dragons kept some of the hard droning and noise battering, but amped up the rhythm section. Even the simplist beats can sound hot through a double-drum assault. The Mahjongg (coincidence?) frenetics of the drumming gave the dragons what DDM misses. Maybe if I saw them live.

In other news, around that same time. Maybe yesterday? I heard this sweet Miles Davis song called "Rated X." This may or may not link to an mp3 of it. Somehow it reminds me of weird ass dance music. And I want to appear knowledgeable.